How to Woo the Cloud of Darkness
by Dakk Tribal
Summary: This is what happens when two guys try to woo Cloud of Darkness...


In Pandemonium sat the Emperor, on his throne and alone. In the world that the war of the gods was taking place, there had been a bit of a standstill as of late. The Emperor didn't like the way this was going. No one was fighting, and even the manikins were bored—if they could feel that is.

The Emperor sat with his chin on his hand along his armrest. He was bored. He had been sitting on his throne for quite awhile now, waiting for something to happen, or someone to visit him. That wanderer, Bartz, and the child known as Onion Knight did visit him—but only long enough to pour worms on the seat of his throne before running off. And because he had to suffer through that ordeal, he decided that he would have to feed them to Exdeath the next time he crossed paths with them. Yes, that would be entertaining.

As soon as the thought of the needless destroyer came to mind, the Emperor's mind trailed on to another destroyer: she called herself Cloud of Darkness. Although she was in league with Exdeath as a destroyer, there was something about her that made some of Chaos' warriors think about her in another 'light'. CoD had the appearance of a human woman, and a somewhat seductive one at that, though she wasn't human at all. She was a being made of darkness; this didn't stop Emperor from liking her. He thought that her views and appearance were…appealing to him.

And that also got the attention of Kuja, the narcissist with a tail. Floating around with little to do, the genome was thinking on his 'team mates' of Chaos. Garland was not around, probably with the God of Discord. Not that he really cared for that big lummox, or the other discordians. He did, however, find Cloud of Darkness very nice to be around. Like Exdeath, she also spoke about a 'Void' (though Kuja believed they were talking about different aspects of the same idea), but she also had an attractive air about her. Ever since she found a 'dark crystal', her body was even more beautiful than before.

And of course, how could she refuse Kuja? He was the youngest of the warriors of Chaos, had great hair, and had a good taste in theatre. Surely, that would be enough to get her attention?

He went and glided away, towards the World of Darkness to find her.

But when he got there, he found Emperor waiting. And when he saw his face, he realized that he wasn't happy at all.

Kuja landed feet from the royal man, "And what brings you here?"

"None of your concern, young one," replied the man.

"Here to see the dark cloud?"

"Are you?"

"Yes, I came to ask her out," Kuja moved a strand of hair out of his face.

The Emperor laughed, "Funny, that's what I plan to do as well."

This time, Kuja laughed, "I doubt she'll choose you over me."

"Hmph, arrogant whelp, do you really think she'll choose someone who is not only a nobody but a mere vessel?"

The word 'vessel' sparked a fierce flame of hate in Kuja's heart, he hated being called that. Yes, he was a mortal, and he was the least experienced of the Chaos warriors, but he wasn't a nothing!

Just then, a familiar figure came up to them, a bare-chested man with a large 'J' on his chest and carrying a big sword. "What's going on?"

Emperor looked at Jecht with a smug look, "Nothing that concerns you Jecht. This boy here thinks he can win what I can easily."

Jecht tilted his head curiously, "And that is?"

"The heart of a certain someone, but like I said, I can easily do so."

Kuja hovered, "But I already sent her a gift, so I beat you to it!"

Emperor looked away, "And so did I."

Jecht was confused, but stayed to listen anyway.

Kuja started to raise his voice, "if it is beauty she looks for, look no further, old Emperor! She'll be dancing with me before the night ends!"

The royal manipulator glanced and smirked, "Not if she sits beside me on a throne, after I conquer all the worlds!"

"What the hell are you guys talking about?" Jecht said, stabbing his large sword into the ground. Both the Emperor and Kuja looked at him, annoyance and irritation on both their faces. This caused Jecht to back off, crossing his arms over his chest.

Kuja then realized something, "Jecht, what are YOU doing here?"

The self-proclaimed 'Blitz King' scratched the back of his head, "I'm uh…waiting for someone…"

Emperor asked for whom, and that is when the Cloud of Darkness appeared before them. She looked a helluva lot younger than before. Kuja gave a small smirk at that, made him think she was more attractive that way.

Those yellow tentacles with white eyes were floating around her, snapping at the narcissist and the Emperor. She walked between the two, "What can I do for you two?"

Kuja stepped forward, "I was hoping to ask you if you would want to have a good time—"

The Emperor cut him off, "You'd be better off with me, CoD."

But the dark lady went right between them, to their shock, and went straight to Jecht!

"Sorry I am late, Jecht."

The man crossed his arms, "I thought I was the one that was late."

She smiled, stood next to him, and put an arm around his abdomen. Jecht put an arm around hers, their bodies touching. Kuja and Emperor were both surprised and beside themselves with rage.

Jecht smiled at his colleagues, "What can I say, chicks dig the Jecht."


End file.
